He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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