I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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