All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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