your room smells of hookers.
And success
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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