Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
