dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity