dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.