I'm retarded. Again.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation