cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
