sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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