love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
