I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize