we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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