I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
