I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
