I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
