That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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