Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

Fav 10 1515 940
share tweet
(251): View more from Alabama

Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"

Fav 34 5863 1460
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"

(262): View more from Wisconsin

That was long passed due.

Fav 36 5427 1272
share tweet
(334): View more from Alabama

He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

Fav 58 17106 4105
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

(616): View more from Michigan

The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

Fav 3 3075 1058
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

Fav 11 1387 2805
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

Fav 7 1109 2464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

Fav 2 1255 611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid

Fav 1 473 416
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT