I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
