you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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