Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
