hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize