Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
