Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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