my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
