I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
