About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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