the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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