Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
