I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
