Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
