it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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