I wanna passion pit in your ass
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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