just come out here and I will go home with you...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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