I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
