I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
