If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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