He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
