Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
