i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize