Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
