glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
