Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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