Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
