I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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