This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
