$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
