everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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