Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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