I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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