I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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