we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
