I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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