that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize