Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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