I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
