just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
