Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
