I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
