This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
