weddingsv make me drug and hornr
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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