I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
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I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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