I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
